Contemplating calling Anthropology and/or History quits and going to fashion design school. I want it, but I just don’t have what it takes to be a real intellectual.
This isn’t to say people in the fashion industry aren’t intelligent. They are. But it’s a different sort of intelligence, and I think my mind is more useful in a world where you learn by touching, seeing, and creating.
I’m not saying it will be “easier” (I can’t even sew and I haven’t actually drawn anything in nearly a year), but it will be the kind of thing I can actually succeed in.
Time will tell.
I just don’t know what it is about me that can not seem to do anything above average in school. I am really just not good at it.
People make it seem like it’s because I don’t care or I’m just not interested, but I am! More so than some of the other people I see. I don’t understand how some of them finish with fabulous grades when they don’t even listen to a word the teacher says in class.
I listen so closely and I write it all down , I’m organized and I want to understand it all so badly, but I just can not seem to translate that into any of my work. Why?
Do I have some learning disability that no one has ever picked up on? Or am I really just not an intelligent person?
I’m so afraid I won’t pass some of my classes. If I don’t then I’m not sure they’ll let me continue next semester. If I don’t then I suppose it’s back to awful retail.
I guess I was born just to work like a mule and nothing beyond that.
But how tortuous that seems when I have the curiosity, just not the skill.